ON MESSAGE: How to defang reply guys

Anat Shenker-Osorio returns to help you get your angry uncle back on your side

Following up on our discussion earlier this month about how to handle disagreements between allies, this week we look at another common conflict situation — how to deal with supposed common-sense objections, whether those are rooted in status anxiety or can be traced back to some outmoded piece of conventional wisdom.

Whether it’s from an angry uncle at Thanksgiving dinner or a random stranger “just asking questions” on social media, everyone has run into these lines of argument. While they aren’t necessarily worth engaging with, when you need to do so, they can be difficult to handle constructively. But never fear — messaging guru Anat Shenker-Osorio is back with some advice on how to handle these disagreements, and maybe even get the opposition on your side.

Want to hear more about Anat’s fascinating work? Check out the third season of Words to Win By, her excellent podcast exploring the role of political messaging in the fight for change. All episodes of the third season are now available via your favorite podcast app.

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Sometimes common-sense arguments are really nonsense. What’s the best way to push back and (assuming it’s worth doing) try to get someone to see what you really have in common?

There's a brilliant, brilliant organizer, Terrence Wise, he's one of the key architects of the Fight for $15. He's in the finale episode of the podcast.

He's from Missouri. He calls himself a second-generation fast food worker. He worked in fast food. His mom worked in fast food. So I asked him, "What is the argument from the opposition that you feel like you get most often that’s hardest to clap back at?" 

Update the conventional wisdom

“You get the standard two things,” he told me. So the first one — and Terrence gets this one a lot — has to do with this idea that anybody making minimum wage isn’t doing it for long; they’re kids working a part-time job for extra money. Of course that has nothing to do with reality, but that’s where people are.

“It's supposed to be an entry-level job,” they tell him. “If you want to make more money, get a better job.”