A compelling essay. I was reminded of my very first real job as a preschool teacher at Head Start in Jersey City. My eyes were opened to the broken glass on the playground, the concrete outside our door. I once asked my aide why she didn’t call the police after recalling an incident and she laughed. They would never call the police into the projects, it would be inviting more trouble. It was the early 70s, and we’re still waiting for the cavalry to arrive.
Anand, Abandonment (with a capital A) was the first emotion I felt this morning when I read that the House Speaker has declared that AI safety is not a matter for Congress to take up. Your essay was the next thing I read, like a message from the gods (who also are not coming to save us).
We are truly on our own defenseless unless we can come together. Your work is important on a civilizational level. The patience you have with a story, the connections your mind traces, the care at the heart of your work--you are our very own prophet. Thank you for sharing your essay, perfectly timed as always.
First, thank you, Anand..for this lucid, balanced and tender essay. As a public psychiatrist who served as NYS' Deputy Commissioner during the height of deinstitutionalization (integrushealth.com/ferman) the two faces in the mirror you've shown us have been integral to my thinking and work for some time. The failures are all around us. And they obfuscate as much as demoralize. Rahter than seeing 'root cause' -- we too easily see this as a matter of better or more services, when it is an entire population of the most ill and vulnerable who have been shunted --literally over the edge. Reconnecting these folks to community (not simply to another shelter...or an apartment..or a clinic) is a vital step. Reinstating a social contract -- for ALL -- is central. We are working on this in the here and now (currently in Kansas City, Missouri.) I would very much like to talk with you if you can carve out a few moments. I know you are literally at the lip of your book tour. I cannot wish you enough success in getting through the polarized darkness we face in MOST cities and towns across this country of ours. JF
How can this story & article not touch our soul? Way past overdue for law enforcement, social work & mental health to come together in creative & meaningful ways to do justice to complex societal issues. As a news clip of the day, interaction in the subway is the story. Underneath it are multiple points of failures & short comings of many years of various city agencies and patients rights. Once again, Thank you Anand.
Very interesting. I find myself, though, wondering whether you have uncovered some essential but under-examined shared cultural/social phenomenon, or whether you have just described one of the more dramatic and public examples of what we all do all of the time. Don’t we pretty much daily ‘take things into our own hands”? I can think of a dozen ways I did that over the last few days. I agree that other people do this all the time around me and sometimes it pisses me off. And I find myself arguing about the ‘right thing to do,’ etc. But that’s the nature of living in a society of self-actuated other people. Because we live in a relatively liberal and free society, we intrinsically navigate these various, sometimes competing or incompatible assertions of agency as a matter of course. But, then, sometimes, some acts of taking things into one’s own hands get a special spotlight, probably because they stand for something that is a major moral or other such issue that is ripe for broader consideration and some sort of resolution, whether or in law, custom, norms, or even scope of individual choices and behaviors.
I definitely agree also, that much about public authority has come to feel erratic. But does it feel this way any more so than during the ‘free love’ and ‘question authority’ days of the ‘60s and ‘70s? Or during the height of Black Lives Matter? My theory is that the current moment in our history is fraught at these levels due to 40+ years of neoliberal globalism that transferred enormous wealth and the associated agency away from tens of millions of Americans — leading to not just a broad sense of abandonment or desertion, but increasing anomie and resentment. The resulting Trump Administration approaches to governing, have normalized widespread, unaccountable governmental lawlessness, abuse, and corruption and have vastly exasperated the ‘disquiet’ and the feeling of abandonment you describe.
I would argue that our problems aren’t based in tribalism so much as in the soft coup that is rocking our nation to the core — with its endemic lawlessness, thuggery, corruption, white nationalist, and autocratic agendas, and the pathetic pathological narcissism of our president. If you’re not feeling vulnerable, shocked, disoriented, abandoned, and you don’t find yourself muttering, “What the hell can we do?” — then you’re either in a coma or are one of the long-termist billionaires building spaceships to Mars, underground village-sized bunkers, and/or AI data centers.
Incredible! I have to get the book! I have been telling my friends that many people are living with their amygdala hijacked and cannot think creatively or deeply. I would just say that it is because life is so stressful now, between the COVID pandemic, wars, our culture, etc. But I never termed it as a feeling of abandonment. It makes perfect sense in so many ways, considering the large number of people who feel lonely, besides the other issues mentioned. Compassionate Communication speaks of us all having common needs. Clearly, being seen, heard and understood are some of the strongest needs people have along with connection and agency. When those needs are not met, we are angry, sad, frustrated, scared, etc. We have a society where more and more folks are struggling to get their needs met.
Appreciation to those who commented. Further perspective was opened. The essay gets to the heart of the matter — dehumanization of those we choose not to understand or even try to understand. For me the essay landed in my gut, like a lead brick. Just like it does every time I choose to look away when I pass by a person or persons who are asking for help. If I were to pause, look someone in the eye and say hello, for a moment that person possibly would have felt seen. The essay has compelled me to make a new practice to do just that: pause, acknowledge and say hello. Looking forward to my copy of “Man in the Mirror.” Thank you Anand. 🌻
Thanks both for the essay and your preamble. I remember the fine day when one of my photographs first appeared in the Milwaukee Journal, as well as my feelings of non-existence in later years when I was doing highly classified defense work and yearned to be seen again. Through both you contrast the personal desire to be seen to exist with the avoidance of recognition by the rest of the world. A constant challenge.
I went to see the American Repertory Theatre's production of Ionesco's Rhinoceros and it scared me to death! It was the playwright's response to the rise of Naziism and the masses of "good people" around him joining, conforming or figuring it was best to just give up. We all are talking too much to each other and not taking the actions that are necessary. This is a coup we're living in. A slow moving one! All we care about is being destroyed. We must stop writing and reading and feeling like we're doing something. I don't have the answers but I keep hoping there are leaders out there who have a plan. Voting massively is critical, but this administration, I believe, won't seat the Dem winners. We'll be in court for years. Who out there is planning something big and effective in order to not only beat MAGA, but wipe it off the map? And who's really behind all this? What's their plan?
A compelling essay. I was reminded of my very first real job as a preschool teacher at Head Start in Jersey City. My eyes were opened to the broken glass on the playground, the concrete outside our door. I once asked my aide why she didn’t call the police after recalling an incident and she laughed. They would never call the police into the projects, it would be inviting more trouble. It was the early 70s, and we’re still waiting for the cavalry to arrive.
Beautiful essay — I’m really looking forward to the book!
Anand, Abandonment (with a capital A) was the first emotion I felt this morning when I read that the House Speaker has declared that AI safety is not a matter for Congress to take up. Your essay was the next thing I read, like a message from the gods (who also are not coming to save us).
We are truly on our own defenseless unless we can come together. Your work is important on a civilizational level. The patience you have with a story, the connections your mind traces, the care at the heart of your work--you are our very own prophet. Thank you for sharing your essay, perfectly timed as always.
I'm feeling very ready for your book!
First, thank you, Anand..for this lucid, balanced and tender essay. As a public psychiatrist who served as NYS' Deputy Commissioner during the height of deinstitutionalization (integrushealth.com/ferman) the two faces in the mirror you've shown us have been integral to my thinking and work for some time. The failures are all around us. And they obfuscate as much as demoralize. Rahter than seeing 'root cause' -- we too easily see this as a matter of better or more services, when it is an entire population of the most ill and vulnerable who have been shunted --literally over the edge. Reconnecting these folks to community (not simply to another shelter...or an apartment..or a clinic) is a vital step. Reinstating a social contract -- for ALL -- is central. We are working on this in the here and now (currently in Kansas City, Missouri.) I would very much like to talk with you if you can carve out a few moments. I know you are literally at the lip of your book tour. I cannot wish you enough success in getting through the polarized darkness we face in MOST cities and towns across this country of ours. JF
How can this story & article not touch our soul? Way past overdue for law enforcement, social work & mental health to come together in creative & meaningful ways to do justice to complex societal issues. As a news clip of the day, interaction in the subway is the story. Underneath it are multiple points of failures & short comings of many years of various city agencies and patients rights. Once again, Thank you Anand.
Nikhil Sheth
Very interesting. I find myself, though, wondering whether you have uncovered some essential but under-examined shared cultural/social phenomenon, or whether you have just described one of the more dramatic and public examples of what we all do all of the time. Don’t we pretty much daily ‘take things into our own hands”? I can think of a dozen ways I did that over the last few days. I agree that other people do this all the time around me and sometimes it pisses me off. And I find myself arguing about the ‘right thing to do,’ etc. But that’s the nature of living in a society of self-actuated other people. Because we live in a relatively liberal and free society, we intrinsically navigate these various, sometimes competing or incompatible assertions of agency as a matter of course. But, then, sometimes, some acts of taking things into one’s own hands get a special spotlight, probably because they stand for something that is a major moral or other such issue that is ripe for broader consideration and some sort of resolution, whether or in law, custom, norms, or even scope of individual choices and behaviors.
I definitely agree also, that much about public authority has come to feel erratic. But does it feel this way any more so than during the ‘free love’ and ‘question authority’ days of the ‘60s and ‘70s? Or during the height of Black Lives Matter? My theory is that the current moment in our history is fraught at these levels due to 40+ years of neoliberal globalism that transferred enormous wealth and the associated agency away from tens of millions of Americans — leading to not just a broad sense of abandonment or desertion, but increasing anomie and resentment. The resulting Trump Administration approaches to governing, have normalized widespread, unaccountable governmental lawlessness, abuse, and corruption and have vastly exasperated the ‘disquiet’ and the feeling of abandonment you describe.
I would argue that our problems aren’t based in tribalism so much as in the soft coup that is rocking our nation to the core — with its endemic lawlessness, thuggery, corruption, white nationalist, and autocratic agendas, and the pathetic pathological narcissism of our president. If you’re not feeling vulnerable, shocked, disoriented, abandoned, and you don’t find yourself muttering, “What the hell can we do?” — then you’re either in a coma or are one of the long-termist billionaires building spaceships to Mars, underground village-sized bunkers, and/or AI data centers.
So looking forward to reading The Man in the Mirror
A truly beautiful thought provoking piece of writing. I must admit reading it brought tears to my eyes for both men
Made me cry for my beloved country.
Incredible! I have to get the book! I have been telling my friends that many people are living with their amygdala hijacked and cannot think creatively or deeply. I would just say that it is because life is so stressful now, between the COVID pandemic, wars, our culture, etc. But I never termed it as a feeling of abandonment. It makes perfect sense in so many ways, considering the large number of people who feel lonely, besides the other issues mentioned. Compassionate Communication speaks of us all having common needs. Clearly, being seen, heard and understood are some of the strongest needs people have along with connection and agency. When those needs are not met, we are angry, sad, frustrated, scared, etc. We have a society where more and more folks are struggling to get their needs met.
Appreciation to those who commented. Further perspective was opened. The essay gets to the heart of the matter — dehumanization of those we choose not to understand or even try to understand. For me the essay landed in my gut, like a lead brick. Just like it does every time I choose to look away when I pass by a person or persons who are asking for help. If I were to pause, look someone in the eye and say hello, for a moment that person possibly would have felt seen. The essay has compelled me to make a new practice to do just that: pause, acknowledge and say hello. Looking forward to my copy of “Man in the Mirror.” Thank you Anand. 🌻
Ordered the audiobook after listening to a sample read by Anand - thank you for your work, Anand…
Thanks both for the essay and your preamble. I remember the fine day when one of my photographs first appeared in the Milwaukee Journal, as well as my feelings of non-existence in later years when I was doing highly classified defense work and yearned to be seen again. Through both you contrast the personal desire to be seen to exist with the avoidance of recognition by the rest of the world. A constant challenge.
I went to see the American Repertory Theatre's production of Ionesco's Rhinoceros and it scared me to death! It was the playwright's response to the rise of Naziism and the masses of "good people" around him joining, conforming or figuring it was best to just give up. We all are talking too much to each other and not taking the actions that are necessary. This is a coup we're living in. A slow moving one! All we care about is being destroyed. We must stop writing and reading and feeling like we're doing something. I don't have the answers but I keep hoping there are leaders out there who have a plan. Voting massively is critical, but this administration, I believe, won't seat the Dem winners. We'll be in court for years. Who out there is planning something big and effective in order to not only beat MAGA, but wipe it off the map? And who's really behind all this? What's their plan?
This feels like insight we desperately need.