Your article revives one of my pet peeves that I've tried in vain to overcome. I'm a 76-year old WASP with a common American name, Debby. (Deborah in Hebrew means queen bee.) My name is not hard for English speakers to pronounce. The problem is that about 30 years ago, when we moved to a new city, and especially 7 years ago when we moved into a retirement community, most people insist on calling me Deb. I've tried every thing from politely correcting them to explaining how would you like to be called......., shortening, their name, to trying not to mind. But I do mind. I feel not just belittled or "diminuated" but devalued. Now I secretly applaud when someone actually calls me by my name.
May I share another name story? My middle name is Lee. As a child my mother took me to visit her parents in St Louis whose Black yard man was named Lee. I spent my days chatting with him as followed him around outdoors. In my family it was the hired help who showed me love and attention and I grew up feeling the safe people in the world had dark skin. I happily believed my parents had named me after Lee. There was quite a bit of shock around the dinner table when, at age 14, I mentioned this misconception. Oh no! Lee was a family name that practically came over on the Mayflower. I still prefer the comfort of my naiveté.
Hi Anand, I have egg on my face and I apologize. I have mispronounced your first name and I thought I had it right. For sure, I think I have it now. Perhaps you might make a recording of your last name because that is the really difficult one. Usually when you say it, you say it quickly, and why not, you know how to pronounce it already. But for the rest of us mortals, perhaps you can make a recording. One time.
I've enjoyed The Ink for several years now, from the time you were having Zoom from your red room. Thank you!
I would draw a parallel in how people often refer to falsehoods as misinformation vs. disinformation.
The former is bad/incorrect info caused by errors or mistakes.
What's happening now (and has been with #ThePutinApprentice and his MAGA Repub sycophants) is disinformation—i.e., deliberately false statements and content intended to manipulate public opinion: AKA propaganda!
I think your practice of introducing yourself by name at the beginning of each live is really important- but honestly I've heard many of your guests, many of whom I respect, mispronounce it, even after they hear it- usually they are placing the accent on the second syllable. So, what to say about folks on the left who don't pay attention enough to how someone they're talking to pronounces their name- I don't know
Oh my goodness, this brings up so much for me. My name is Kerry - as pronounced in North Jersey and NY, where I was raised Kehree… the ‘r’ does not modify the sound of the short ‘e’. For many years after I moved away from the NYC area I tried and tried to get my friends to pronounce my name correctly. They would seriously attempt it but at some point I realized they couldn’t hear the difference. On the west coast the words ‘merry’, ‘Mary’, and ‘marry’, are all pronounced the same. As is Kerry and Carrie. To me they are distinctly different. This is a bit different because there are real problems hearing differences that weren’t in your language as a child. I am not saying that pronouncing your name, Anand, is the same thing, but that is because as soon as I heard you say it, I could hear the difference between what I thought the pronunciation was. This is a weird confession but I have listened to you pronounce your last name over and over trying to pronounce it the way you do. It seems you leave some syllables out or just say them so quickly that I don’t pick them up. I’m rueful about that. I’m in Italy and I’ve done a few small guided tours here and there and each guide has come up with a way for us to pronounce their name that may be easier - I balk at this every time and make a point at listening carefully (so I’ll actually remember - another issue entirely) and use their actual name. Seriously why can’t I or anyone say ‘Jacopo’ for a recent example instead of anglicized Jacob? In the 80s we had an influx of students from Cambodia and Vietnam and we made the effort to learn how to say names that were unfamiliar - why wouldn’t we? Or maybe I’ve just been aware of how uncomfortable it is to rarely ever hear anyone pronounce my own name correctly. It’s always great to be around someone from NY who says it right 😊 however, none of this really speaks to ‘dis-pronunciation’ which is definitely insulting. Great article, and as you can see from the comments how important our names are to us regardless
I grew up with a family name that didn’t seem hard to me but still required clarification Every.Single.Time. Then I married a man with a more difficult Slavic name for another couple decades of spelling it out Every.Single.Time. and even once I’d done it they still wouldn’t try! I laid down that lifelong burden when I married again, this time to a familiar nursery rhyme and burger name.
I would like to add to the list the mispronunciation of the word Iran. It is not pronounced I-ran, as in, I ran to the grocery store. It's pronounced with the first syllable sounding like the "i" in "ship" and the second syllable sounding like "rahn," with the "ah" sound as in "father". I'm a retired university professor and I spent the first day of every new semester doing roll call and writing many student names, first and/or last names, phonetically so I could learn to pronounce them. Even when students mentioned that they used an "American" first name, I still worked to learn how to pronounce their given names. I did the same with new staff and faculty. Nowadays, when I come across a name that I don't know how to pronounce I turn to Google so I can hear the pronunciation. And as Debby below, with a first name of Patricia, I too constantly point out to people that my name is not Pat, or Patty, or Trisha, or Trish; it's Patricia. I also do not understand the need of some people to use a different name than the one I've used to introduce myself.
Many times I've leaned into the very beginning of your videos, fruitlessly trying to catch how you pronounce your last name, as it flashes by me. My old brain has gotten so slow! Now I discover by this delightful article that I've been mispronouncing Anand as well! Thank you for the generous lessons in the filial sharing of names.
My name is Sally. I've loved it all my life--it's so full of cheerful loops. It's a nickname for Sarah, as found in the Bible, which means princess in Hebrew. However, princess never fit this loopy girl. Recently, an Irish friend told me Sally means "willowy" in his language. What joy! Now I have a meaning for my name that echoes all my happy loops!
Going forth, I will double-down on the pronunciation of the wealth of beautiful names I meet, thanks to you, Anand.
I get it. My full maiden name is Kirsten Lorraine Thistel. I didn't hear the name Kirsten very much when I was growing up. Now you hear it quite a bit. I pronounce it Kiersten. But in fairness some people who spell it the exact same way I do pronounce it Kursten. In any case, that was bad enough, but my last name...Ugh. It's a viking name but it's pronounced just like the flower or the thorn, i.e. Thistle. Almost nobody could get it right. I was told by a speech therapist once that objectively speaking, it's more difficult for the mouth to pronounce it the way I do, and even after knowing me for decades there were still people who simply could not say my name correctly. I think I have your first name down, although I do admit that I sometimes put the emphasis in the wrong place, but every time I think I have remembered your last name correctly, I hear you say it and find myself dismayed that I didn't remember it correctly afterall. In the unlikely event that I ever meet you in person, I will do my very best to get it right the first time.
When I was young, I lived overseas. I got used to the many (wrong) ways my names were mispronounced. Back in the U.S., my last name is mangled to this day. And the first is English/American and the second is European... And it is important to remember that until people have heard it over and again-- ideally properly pronounced by those who speak distinctly and correctly (as we have with many sports figures and famous artists)-- It's good to lead with the assumption it's a mispronunciation (never in the case of Kamala) as the teacher I had who talked a lot about the famous playwright Shock--ess-- pare
Even all my teachers at school when growing up here could not pronounce Tatiana. They always asked me for a nickname so I said Tanya. At age 21 I decided to be Tatiana again whether people could say it or not. Now it is a more common name so people don’t struggle as much. : )
I hear gear-dar-das when anand says it fast🤔 A corollary is a name that is mayflower but subject to endless teasing. A difference being perhaps most “adults” don’t tease (taunt?) as much as when one was younger.
Anand your name is poetry! My name is Joyati which means victory. I also have a lifetime of patiently telling people how to say my name and feeling the expectation that I shorten it to Joy so they won’t feel uncomfortable. When someone says my name correctly after hearing it once I feel seen.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through life with this burden! It is like people are using this to make fun of you- at least that is what it feels like! My difficulty with names though is because I am deaf (I can hear a very little about 10% of 10% of normal hearing..) so my hearing chart is pretty empty of what I can hear! So introductions are very painful for me.. I always have to ask and re-ask over and over again to try to get things right. Just to hear someone takes so much effort, it is not even to the point of trying to say or remember it. And often people go so quickly when introducing themselves it is over before I get the chance to catch up! I always feel so badly because of that - I want to do better but it is so hard! Once I had an Egyptian friend tell me some of the sounds that he made when speaking in his native tongue and he was delighted when I could actually get it the way he said it! He said that he had never met an American who could do that! We were both elated! We figured that it was because so many sounds are not embedded in me as a habit from not being able to hear all of them, and so my 'stuck-in-a-rut' habits were not perhaps as strongly entrenched as most people's are! Who knows, but I do understand how uncomfortable and demeaning it is when people mis and especially dis-pronounce your name, it is part of your identity, and often reflects your heritage which should be a source of happiness not sorrow. They do this with so amny other things as well as names - like Eeeeew! what is that (that you are eating?) or your clothing is so different!! and on and on.... But I won't get you started on those! But people do need to celebrate each other not pick on the unique things that makes each of us special. If we did more of this we might not be so deep in the muck of intolerance, hate and fear as we are these days! Keep teaching us how to speak we need it!
Your article revives one of my pet peeves that I've tried in vain to overcome. I'm a 76-year old WASP with a common American name, Debby. (Deborah in Hebrew means queen bee.) My name is not hard for English speakers to pronounce. The problem is that about 30 years ago, when we moved to a new city, and especially 7 years ago when we moved into a retirement community, most people insist on calling me Deb. I've tried every thing from politely correcting them to explaining how would you like to be called......., shortening, their name, to trying not to mind. But I do mind. I feel not just belittled or "diminuated" but devalued. Now I secretly applaud when someone actually calls me by my name.
May I share another name story? My middle name is Lee. As a child my mother took me to visit her parents in St Louis whose Black yard man was named Lee. I spent my days chatting with him as followed him around outdoors. In my family it was the hired help who showed me love and attention and I grew up feeling the safe people in the world had dark skin. I happily believed my parents had named me after Lee. There was quite a bit of shock around the dinner table when, at age 14, I mentioned this misconception. Oh no! Lee was a family name that practically came over on the Mayflower. I still prefer the comfort of my naiveté.
Hi Anand, I have egg on my face and I apologize. I have mispronounced your first name and I thought I had it right. For sure, I think I have it now. Perhaps you might make a recording of your last name because that is the really difficult one. Usually when you say it, you say it quickly, and why not, you know how to pronounce it already. But for the rest of us mortals, perhaps you can make a recording. One time.
I've enjoyed The Ink for several years now, from the time you were having Zoom from your red room. Thank you!
I would also love to hear the pronunciation of Giridharadas!
Anand says his own last name on every video! Just listen!
Thanks! I almost always read text, so I didn’t know.
Yes, I agree with Catherine! Could you please parse it out for those of us born with Mayflower mouth but strive to do better?
A great piece from your archive, Anand!
I would draw a parallel in how people often refer to falsehoods as misinformation vs. disinformation.
The former is bad/incorrect info caused by errors or mistakes.
What's happening now (and has been with #ThePutinApprentice and his MAGA Repub sycophants) is disinformation—i.e., deliberately false statements and content intended to manipulate public opinion: AKA propaganda!
I think your practice of introducing yourself by name at the beginning of each live is really important- but honestly I've heard many of your guests, many of whom I respect, mispronounce it, even after they hear it- usually they are placing the accent on the second syllable. So, what to say about folks on the left who don't pay attention enough to how someone they're talking to pronounces their name- I don't know
Oh my goodness, this brings up so much for me. My name is Kerry - as pronounced in North Jersey and NY, where I was raised Kehree… the ‘r’ does not modify the sound of the short ‘e’. For many years after I moved away from the NYC area I tried and tried to get my friends to pronounce my name correctly. They would seriously attempt it but at some point I realized they couldn’t hear the difference. On the west coast the words ‘merry’, ‘Mary’, and ‘marry’, are all pronounced the same. As is Kerry and Carrie. To me they are distinctly different. This is a bit different because there are real problems hearing differences that weren’t in your language as a child. I am not saying that pronouncing your name, Anand, is the same thing, but that is because as soon as I heard you say it, I could hear the difference between what I thought the pronunciation was. This is a weird confession but I have listened to you pronounce your last name over and over trying to pronounce it the way you do. It seems you leave some syllables out or just say them so quickly that I don’t pick them up. I’m rueful about that. I’m in Italy and I’ve done a few small guided tours here and there and each guide has come up with a way for us to pronounce their name that may be easier - I balk at this every time and make a point at listening carefully (so I’ll actually remember - another issue entirely) and use their actual name. Seriously why can’t I or anyone say ‘Jacopo’ for a recent example instead of anglicized Jacob? In the 80s we had an influx of students from Cambodia and Vietnam and we made the effort to learn how to say names that were unfamiliar - why wouldn’t we? Or maybe I’ve just been aware of how uncomfortable it is to rarely ever hear anyone pronounce my own name correctly. It’s always great to be around someone from NY who says it right 😊 however, none of this really speaks to ‘dis-pronunciation’ which is definitely insulting. Great article, and as you can see from the comments how important our names are to us regardless
I grew up with a family name that didn’t seem hard to me but still required clarification Every.Single.Time. Then I married a man with a more difficult Slavic name for another couple decades of spelling it out Every.Single.Time. and even once I’d done it they still wouldn’t try! I laid down that lifelong burden when I married again, this time to a familiar nursery rhyme and burger name.
I would like to add to the list the mispronunciation of the word Iran. It is not pronounced I-ran, as in, I ran to the grocery store. It's pronounced with the first syllable sounding like the "i" in "ship" and the second syllable sounding like "rahn," with the "ah" sound as in "father". I'm a retired university professor and I spent the first day of every new semester doing roll call and writing many student names, first and/or last names, phonetically so I could learn to pronounce them. Even when students mentioned that they used an "American" first name, I still worked to learn how to pronounce their given names. I did the same with new staff and faculty. Nowadays, when I come across a name that I don't know how to pronounce I turn to Google so I can hear the pronunciation. And as Debby below, with a first name of Patricia, I too constantly point out to people that my name is not Pat, or Patty, or Trisha, or Trish; it's Patricia. I also do not understand the need of some people to use a different name than the one I've used to introduce myself.
Many times I've leaned into the very beginning of your videos, fruitlessly trying to catch how you pronounce your last name, as it flashes by me. My old brain has gotten so slow! Now I discover by this delightful article that I've been mispronouncing Anand as well! Thank you for the generous lessons in the filial sharing of names.
My name is Sally. I've loved it all my life--it's so full of cheerful loops. It's a nickname for Sarah, as found in the Bible, which means princess in Hebrew. However, princess never fit this loopy girl. Recently, an Irish friend told me Sally means "willowy" in his language. What joy! Now I have a meaning for my name that echoes all my happy loops!
Going forth, I will double-down on the pronunciation of the wealth of beautiful names I meet, thanks to you, Anand.
With Love,
Sally
I get it. My full maiden name is Kirsten Lorraine Thistel. I didn't hear the name Kirsten very much when I was growing up. Now you hear it quite a bit. I pronounce it Kiersten. But in fairness some people who spell it the exact same way I do pronounce it Kursten. In any case, that was bad enough, but my last name...Ugh. It's a viking name but it's pronounced just like the flower or the thorn, i.e. Thistle. Almost nobody could get it right. I was told by a speech therapist once that objectively speaking, it's more difficult for the mouth to pronounce it the way I do, and even after knowing me for decades there were still people who simply could not say my name correctly. I think I have your first name down, although I do admit that I sometimes put the emphasis in the wrong place, but every time I think I have remembered your last name correctly, I hear you say it and find myself dismayed that I didn't remember it correctly afterall. In the unlikely event that I ever meet you in person, I will do my very best to get it right the first time.
When I was young, I lived overseas. I got used to the many (wrong) ways my names were mispronounced. Back in the U.S., my last name is mangled to this day. And the first is English/American and the second is European... And it is important to remember that until people have heard it over and again-- ideally properly pronounced by those who speak distinctly and correctly (as we have with many sports figures and famous artists)-- It's good to lead with the assumption it's a mispronunciation (never in the case of Kamala) as the teacher I had who talked a lot about the famous playwright Shock--ess-- pare
Even all my teachers at school when growing up here could not pronounce Tatiana. They always asked me for a nickname so I said Tanya. At age 21 I decided to be Tatiana again whether people could say it or not. Now it is a more common name so people don’t struggle as much. : )
Anand Anand Anand This was a wonderful piece. Thank you!!!
I hear gear-dar-das when anand says it fast🤔 A corollary is a name that is mayflower but subject to endless teasing. A difference being perhaps most “adults” don’t tease (taunt?) as much as when one was younger.
That’s what I hear too.
Anand your name is poetry! My name is Joyati which means victory. I also have a lifetime of patiently telling people how to say my name and feeling the expectation that I shorten it to Joy so they won’t feel uncomfortable. When someone says my name correctly after hearing it once I feel seen.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through life with this burden! It is like people are using this to make fun of you- at least that is what it feels like! My difficulty with names though is because I am deaf (I can hear a very little about 10% of 10% of normal hearing..) so my hearing chart is pretty empty of what I can hear! So introductions are very painful for me.. I always have to ask and re-ask over and over again to try to get things right. Just to hear someone takes so much effort, it is not even to the point of trying to say or remember it. And often people go so quickly when introducing themselves it is over before I get the chance to catch up! I always feel so badly because of that - I want to do better but it is so hard! Once I had an Egyptian friend tell me some of the sounds that he made when speaking in his native tongue and he was delighted when I could actually get it the way he said it! He said that he had never met an American who could do that! We were both elated! We figured that it was because so many sounds are not embedded in me as a habit from not being able to hear all of them, and so my 'stuck-in-a-rut' habits were not perhaps as strongly entrenched as most people's are! Who knows, but I do understand how uncomfortable and demeaning it is when people mis and especially dis-pronounce your name, it is part of your identity, and often reflects your heritage which should be a source of happiness not sorrow. They do this with so amny other things as well as names - like Eeeeew! what is that (that you are eating?) or your clothing is so different!! and on and on.... But I won't get you started on those! But people do need to celebrate each other not pick on the unique things that makes each of us special. If we did more of this we might not be so deep in the muck of intolerance, hate and fear as we are these days! Keep teaching us how to speak we need it!