what you may be too young to remember is that President John F. Kennedy did speak of bold ideas and moving forward, to the moon for one thing, but also to a vision for the future. It has been a while.
I could not agree more. If we malign the Trump supporters, we fall into the same trap that is pushed by them: we “other” them. This contributed to divisiveness and feeds the hatred. Empathy is too underrated.
Anand, I would very much like to hear you address the question of how to be empathetic to racists and misogynists. From my point of view, a lot of people are "feeling pain" because they're losing their entitlements, that is, they don't get to tell others what to do anymore. As a woman I find this less than sympathetic. We've been second class citizens for millennia and now that we're finally getting somewhere we're supposed to feel sorry for people who want to beat us down? Please help me here because I'm just not feeling this. Thank you.
Thank you for your comment because I have the same question. I specifically looked for in the point about opportunities to talk to MAGA people when they say something about losing benefits or rising expensive to tariffs. Instances of someone making racist or misogynistic remarks were not mentioned as opportunities to start a conversation with them. Honestly, I don’t feel empathy or compassion for anyone who is racist or a misogynist.
Thank you, Jeanne. I have great respect for Anand and for Dr. El-Sayed and I think they make some exceptionally good points, but there is this issue of hate. I'm happy to meet people halfway but I'm not willing to sacrifice the public good for the sake of people's egos. So let's talk about this, because I don't think we're going to solve anything without dealing with it.
I also have a lot of respect for them. I really would like some discussion, though, on how they and others propose “welcoming into the tent” racists and misogynists and other haters. It’s very personal for me as my younger sister and brother are mixed race, plus one of them belongs to the LGBTQ+ community.
I completely agree that we need to provide an open door to ALL. To speak to solutions, not condemnation, to folks whom now are finding themselves being harmed by their previous actions and beliefs. I’m not a religious person, however, I firmly believe the principles of “Love our neighbors as ourselves!” This is especially helpful to folks, especially when, they feel bewildered and betrayed!
I’m a 71 yr old gay, married chef who has often found myself using many of the things you’ve written about here. An example:
My husband and I (together 33yrs) live in and owned a restaurant in a blue town surrounded by very deep red counties, that are filled with ranchers and farmers. In 2002 I heard several of them say some version of the following: I hate faggots, but those guys treat you right.
That was all I needed. We both didn’t care about gay marriage, but wanted civil unions with all the coverage marriage gives a couple. (We are actually married for 13 yrs.) I convinced these people that we needed legal protections by bringing up situations that they could relate to. Like the survivor after the other’s death would have to pay taxes on what they would inherit not being actual spouses. That doctors could keep us from visiting our sick other half in a hospital, or even go as for as throwing out medical powers of attorney. Having a relative get a judge to throw out a will and give the estate to that relative, even though they never spoke to the deceased. And it goes on….
The point is, without being condescending or belittling them I got them to support civil unions for gays, and leave the word marriage to the churches.
They follow me to where ever I’m cooking to this day, because I treated them as a fellow human despite their initial assessment of my husband and me.
This is a lesson Dems need to learn! Thank you for this piece.
Very powerful and so true. I have always known that we must implement the "third thing" rather than rehash the first and second over and over. What is the Next Sustaining vision for our ongoing journey to a multicultural, multiracial , democracy that thrives on difference. Ramping up our empathy and although challenging for us all right now, seeking peace among us all sounds like a good start. Thank you for sharing this again.
Anand, have always enjoyed your posts, but LOVE this one. Dr. El-Sayed is so right about the current climate, et how to address these issues. "Confront the bully. But woo the posse." Thanks so much.
This is phenomenal. It gives voice to my impatience with the Dem Party as being backwards facing but I couldn’t articulate why. But it’s just what he said. Kindness and openness and empathy to the human beings whose discomfort and whatever else leads them to what seems like a simple solution in Trumpism, then uncompromising investment in America for All: clean air and water for all, constitutional rights for all, representative government for all, access to the basics of food, shelter, work, child care, health care, education, bodily autonomy, mobility for ALL. Fight the system that has wrought this mess, not the people caught up in it despite their best efforts. He says it so eloquently and simply. Truth has a way of proving itself. Let’s give it a chance.
I totally agree with the Doctor. I mean TOTALLY. At 93 I see all of the things that have brought us here and it is not good. But so much of what we truly believe in is worth working for and fighting for without fear of being labeled this or that. Uphold the great American ideals that would make life good for everyone. Just be humble enough to realize we are not there yet.
More of this please!!! Change the conversation! Invite everyone in. Focus on what we all want. Ask generative questions that widen the view of possibilities that will support a nation that helps all of life flourish!!!
I totally love this.
what you may be too young to remember is that President John F. Kennedy did speak of bold ideas and moving forward, to the moon for one thing, but also to a vision for the future. It has been a while.
I could not agree more. If we malign the Trump supporters, we fall into the same trap that is pushed by them: we “other” them. This contributed to divisiveness and feeds the hatred. Empathy is too underrated.
The people have the power!!! Please don’t forget that!!! We have the power!🗽⚖️
But only if we recognize that and collectively are prepared to use our power at the right moment. Timing is everything.
Do not wait too long!
Anand, I would very much like to hear you address the question of how to be empathetic to racists and misogynists. From my point of view, a lot of people are "feeling pain" because they're losing their entitlements, that is, they don't get to tell others what to do anymore. As a woman I find this less than sympathetic. We've been second class citizens for millennia and now that we're finally getting somewhere we're supposed to feel sorry for people who want to beat us down? Please help me here because I'm just not feeling this. Thank you.
Thank you for your comment because I have the same question. I specifically looked for in the point about opportunities to talk to MAGA people when they say something about losing benefits or rising expensive to tariffs. Instances of someone making racist or misogynistic remarks were not mentioned as opportunities to start a conversation with them. Honestly, I don’t feel empathy or compassion for anyone who is racist or a misogynist.
Thank you, Jeanne. I have great respect for Anand and for Dr. El-Sayed and I think they make some exceptionally good points, but there is this issue of hate. I'm happy to meet people halfway but I'm not willing to sacrifice the public good for the sake of people's egos. So let's talk about this, because I don't think we're going to solve anything without dealing with it.
I also have a lot of respect for them. I really would like some discussion, though, on how they and others propose “welcoming into the tent” racists and misogynists and other haters. It’s very personal for me as my younger sister and brother are mixed race, plus one of them belongs to the LGBTQ+ community.
Agreed. I think it's personal for all of us.
I haven’t even read the post yet, just reacting to the headline title.
When trump won, I asked my 40 year old son what he thought would be the most important thing we democrats could do. I got a one word response.
Compassion.
I completely agree that we need to provide an open door to ALL. To speak to solutions, not condemnation, to folks whom now are finding themselves being harmed by their previous actions and beliefs. I’m not a religious person, however, I firmly believe the principles of “Love our neighbors as ourselves!” This is especially helpful to folks, especially when, they feel bewildered and betrayed!
I’m a 71 yr old gay, married chef who has often found myself using many of the things you’ve written about here. An example:
My husband and I (together 33yrs) live in and owned a restaurant in a blue town surrounded by very deep red counties, that are filled with ranchers and farmers. In 2002 I heard several of them say some version of the following: I hate faggots, but those guys treat you right.
That was all I needed. We both didn’t care about gay marriage, but wanted civil unions with all the coverage marriage gives a couple. (We are actually married for 13 yrs.) I convinced these people that we needed legal protections by bringing up situations that they could relate to. Like the survivor after the other’s death would have to pay taxes on what they would inherit not being actual spouses. That doctors could keep us from visiting our sick other half in a hospital, or even go as for as throwing out medical powers of attorney. Having a relative get a judge to throw out a will and give the estate to that relative, even though they never spoke to the deceased. And it goes on….
The point is, without being condescending or belittling them I got them to support civil unions for gays, and leave the word marriage to the churches.
They follow me to where ever I’m cooking to this day, because I treated them as a fellow human despite their initial assessment of my husband and me.
This is a lesson Dems need to learn! Thank you for this piece.
Have you heard these people tho? They think it’s a holy war and anyone who’s not with them is godless. That’s a problem.
Not everyone of them and certainly not most independents and Dems who stayed home.
Very powerful and so true. I have always known that we must implement the "third thing" rather than rehash the first and second over and over. What is the Next Sustaining vision for our ongoing journey to a multicultural, multiracial , democracy that thrives on difference. Ramping up our empathy and although challenging for us all right now, seeking peace among us all sounds like a good start. Thank you for sharing this again.
Right on, Anand! I'd Like to hear more from Dr. El-Sayed and support him from NYC. Please feature him and let us know. Raph Richman, NYC
Anand, have always enjoyed your posts, but LOVE this one. Dr. El-Sayed is so right about the current climate, et how to address these issues. "Confront the bully. But woo the posse." Thanks so much.
This is phenomenal. It gives voice to my impatience with the Dem Party as being backwards facing but I couldn’t articulate why. But it’s just what he said. Kindness and openness and empathy to the human beings whose discomfort and whatever else leads them to what seems like a simple solution in Trumpism, then uncompromising investment in America for All: clean air and water for all, constitutional rights for all, representative government for all, access to the basics of food, shelter, work, child care, health care, education, bodily autonomy, mobility for ALL. Fight the system that has wrought this mess, not the people caught up in it despite their best efforts. He says it so eloquently and simply. Truth has a way of proving itself. Let’s give it a chance.
I totally agree with the Doctor. I mean TOTALLY. At 93 I see all of the things that have brought us here and it is not good. But so much of what we truly believe in is worth working for and fighting for without fear of being labeled this or that. Uphold the great American ideals that would make life good for everyone. Just be humble enough to realize we are not there yet.
I have never forgotten the interview with him. It was very encouraging.
More of this please!!! Change the conversation! Invite everyone in. Focus on what we all want. Ask generative questions that widen the view of possibilities that will support a nation that helps all of life flourish!!!