Ten Personal Finance Tips from Plutocrats

Dear Inks (Inkies? Inkanistas?),

Welcome to everyone who joined this week. I hope you’re having a pleasant weekend.

But in case you’re not, this might help.

Apropros of:

Ten Personal Finance Tips from Plutocrats

  1. Don’t drink coffee.

  2. Feel richer by making more poor friends.

  3. Eat avocado OR toast, never avocado ON toast.

  4. “D” is for dinner, which you should only eat on days starting with “D.”

  5. Instead of joining a union, panhandle in Union Square — lots of foot traffic.

  6. Buy bootstraps from Zappos, keep the receipt, pull yourself by them, then return the bootstraps.

  7. Attend college under a false identity so you can escape student debt.

  8. Look your best and attempt to be Jeff Bezos’ rebound.

  9. List your home on Airbnb and disclose only at the very bottom of the page that you will still be living there as well.

  10. Locate your birth certificate and retroactively change the zip code.