<![CDATA[The.Ink: Riffs]]>https://the.ink/s/riffshttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!O231!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F576ac1a9-6466-4fac-9e05-e2faaae2de6d_600x600.pngThe.Ink: Riffshttps://the.ink/s/riffsSubstackFri, 26 Jun 2026 02:14:03 GMT<![CDATA[RIFFS: Other numbers Trump might ban]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-other-numbers-trump-might-banhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-other-numbers-trump-might-banThu, 30 Apr 2026 16:12:58 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s satirical series. Don’t @ us.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: There is no "I" in ayatollah]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-there-is-no-i-in-ayatollahhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-there-is-no-i-in-ayatollahMon, 27 Apr 2026 19:47:35 GMTThe other day, I ran into a man who calls himself The Black Trump and does as good an impersonation as I’ve seen. I couldn’t resist the temptation to bring him on The Ink to get his presidential thoughts on Iran, Melania, and why MAGA is cracking.

Follow The Black Trump, a.k.a. Trevor Morris, on TikTok here.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Home demolition ideas, inspired by the White House]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-home-demolition-ideas-inspiredhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-home-demolition-ideas-inspiredThu, 23 Oct 2025 14:45:40 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s series of satirical posts. Check out others in the series here, here, and here.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Trump called cities military "training grounds." We drew up some drills ]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-called-cities-militaryhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-called-cities-militaryWed, 01 Oct 2025 15:18:14 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s occasional satirical series. It’s not disinformation if it makes you laugh.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: My life, tariffed]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-my-life-tariffedhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-my-life-tariffedWed, 09 Apr 2025 14:49:33 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s series of satirical posts. Check out others in the series here, here, and here

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: D-Day group chat leaked]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-d-day-group-chat-leakedhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-d-day-group-chat-leakedTue, 25 Mar 2025 12:55:54 GMT

📅 June 3, 1944 – 11:03 PM

🟦 Ike: yo, sorry for late group txt. Brit weather guys freaking out again ⛈️ anyone got connects w mother nature??

🟢 Marshy G: Frizz check says storms likely again, sigh 🙄 prob another date shift incoming.

🟠 Brad: plz no more delays my uniform already pressed 3x this week #WrinkleWoes

⚫ H-Stim: drowning in paperwork. nxt "Top …

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Leaked texts with the DNC]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-leaked-texts-with-the-dnchttps://the.ink/p/riffs-leaked-texts-with-the-dncThu, 20 Feb 2025 14:16:48 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s occasional satirical series. It’s not disinformation if it makes you laugh.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Musk's AI opposes Musk's power grab]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-musks-ai-opposes-musks-powerhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-musks-ai-opposes-musks-powerTue, 04 Feb 2025 14:23:42 GMTThis morning, I asked Elon Musk’s AI tool, Grok, what it thought about an unelected and very wealthy private citizen presuming to commandeer federal authority. This is what I learned.

The.Ink is made possible by our readers. Sign up to join our free email list — and, if you haven’t yet, support independent, truth-telling media by becoming a paid subscrib…

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Trump vs. geography]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-vs-geographyhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-vs-geographyTue, 21 Jan 2025 17:22:26 GMTRIFFS is The Ink’s series of satirical posts. Check out others in the series here, here, and here.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: The White House Christmas emails, leaked]]>https://the.ink/p/the-white-house-christmas-emailshttps://the.ink/p/the-white-house-christmas-emailsFri, 13 Dec 2024 16:45:43 GMT

By Megan Peck Shub

Thanks to an unscrupulous insider, The Ink is now in possession of several leaked emails regarding an earlier version of the White House 2024 holiday theme, which was ultimately titled—with no apparent irony—“A Season of Peace and Light.”

Earlier versions were, suffice it to say, much darker.

From: Birch Event Design

To: Rafanelli Events

Re: Descending Ghouls

Hey! Just checking in on the creative here. Overall we are a little skittish about the brief this year, but we’ll start with the East Room. Usually, it’s garlands or something. Can you confirm FLOTUS has signed off on the concept of “ghouls descending from the ceiling?” Need to know before we order several hundred yards of gauze. If so, need to know if budget is silk or cotton. Also — ghouls? Again, we were thinking that feels “Halloween” but open to new ideas of course!

From: Rafanelli Events

To: Jill Biden Assistant

Hey—can you please confirm if FLOTUS envisions ghouls that are Halloween-style ghostly ghouls? Like, are we talking scary ghouls? Maybe they are supposed to look like “angels” and we are getting our wires crossed? We are at a loss.

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: The arsonist-to-firefighter administration]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-the-arsonist-to-firefighterhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-the-arsonist-to-firefighterWed, 13 Nov 2024 21:37:13 GMT

A defining feature of our age of increasing oligarchy is the widespread, and widely believed, idea that people who cause problems should be tasked with solving them.

Not only is having caused a social problem no longer viewed as a disqualification for joining the solving brigade in many circles. It is viewed as the qualification itself.

Looking for a fire…

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Trump fills out a juror questionnaire]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-fills-out-a-juror-questionnairehttps://the.ink/p/riffs-trump-fills-out-a-juror-questionnaireThu, 18 Apr 2024 18:22:18 GMT

As jury selection proceeds in the trial of former President Donald Trump in a Manhattan courthouse, the questions being asked of prospective jurors were released. Below, an Ink world exclusive: Trump’s own answers to the juror questionnaire. The Supreme Court has yet to rule on whether a former president can serve as a juror in a case in which he is als…

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: Alabama makes it easier by specifying what is still legal there]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-alabama-makes-it-easier-byhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-alabama-makes-it-easier-byWed, 21 Feb 2024 23:02:31 GMT

Responding to backlash over its state supreme court outlawing in-vitro fertilization, Alabama today announced it would “make life easier for everyone” by “specifying what is still legal” in the state.

  1. Kissing between married couples, but not before morning tooth brushing

  2. Holding hands with gloves on

  3. Side hugs, hip to hip only

  4. Swimsuits that cover the ankles…

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]]><![CDATA[RIFFS: You say you care about memory]]>https://the.ink/p/riffs-you-say-you-care-about-memoryhttps://the.ink/p/riffs-you-say-you-care-about-memoryFri, 09 Feb 2024 14:54:03 GMT

You say you care about memory. But you want to ban history books.

You say you care about memory. But you don't know slavery’s cause.

You say you care about memory. But with Holocaust survivors still alive, you embrace neo-Nazis.

You say you care about memory. But you know of no insurrection on January 6, 2021.

You say you care about memory. But you've forgo…

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